HIS Shoulder to Lean On

The last day of the semester has finally arrived, and I can't believe I still have the energy to blog! I guess when there's something on my heart that's itching to get out, it gets out, right? I don't think I've ever been happier that a semester has ended -- not because I've completed it (I don't even know that much yet), but more because it was so painful and now it's finally over. I just don't have the capability of staying up hours on end studying or even pulling anything close to all-nighters. I need my 6 hours of sleep, and if I don't get it, I pay for it physically, mentally and now, emotionally.

How often do we let the busyness and stresses of life bring turmoil into our most cherished personal relationships? How often do we use a "busy day at work" or a "killer of an exam" as excuses as to why we're not loving and temperamental? [Raises hand] I've been so guilty of this for the past few weeks, since the semester started winding down and the pressure got to an all-time high. My husband is the most accessible person in the world to me, even when he's not around, and that's how it should be. However, that doesn't validate me selfishly unloading all my baggage on him and using him as my personal punching bag.

My mistake is that I forget God plays this role, too. He doesn't only come when He chooses, He also comes when I call on Him. In fact, He WANTS me to turn to Him first and unload everything on Him. Unlike us humans, God won't naturally retaliate or take it to offense. Instead, He has the ability to turn our troubles into stepping stones to a greater glory. And the fact that we're continuing to designate Him as our first shoulder to lean on -- our confidant, is pleasing to Him.

While driving home, I remembered what it felt like to fall in love with An for the first time. The fluttery feelings in my tummy came back, and immediately, I felt the conviction of my actions. At times when I was frustrated and tired, I would treat him as if he didn't deserve my acknowledgement, yet I couldn't imagine my life without him. There were times where a long week had taken its toll on me, and I completely ran out of patience to deal with him... yet, of all the people in the world, he is the one most deserving of my patience.

We both knew what was going on, which was the great part. We each have our own relationship with the same God, so it's easy for us to stay on the same page with things. Praise God for that. Last week, he suggested that after the semester ends, we steal at least a day out of our week to get out of town and just relish in each other's presence. It sounded like a wonderful idea, and I was actually blown away by his sudden suggestion. I couldn't have agreed more! Now that the semester is over, I think our time is due. His actions reminded me of many lessons I learned from several different studies and teachings. A marriage doesn't just happen -- it's both of the individuals that were united in that marriage that keep it going. If we want things to happen, we make them happen. If we want things to change, we make things change. It seems like one of those things that is easier said than done, but so far, I've found that if you've got God agreeing with the things that you do, it does actually tend to be easily done. :)